Top 5 “Watch me sell this” albums:
1. Kruder & Dorfmeister- K & D Sessions
2. New Pornographers- Twin Cinema
3. Sloan- Between the Bridges
4. Cathedral- The Carnival Bizarre
5. D’Gary- Akata Meso
Top 5 “you haven’t heard this?” albums
1. My Bloody Valentine- Loveless
2. Beach Boys- Pet Sounds
3. Charlie Parker- anything
4. Black Sabbath- Vol. 4
5. Kate Bush- Hounds of Love
Top 5 music myths that need to be corrected:
1. Classical music is only for old people
2. Nico was a valuable member of the Velvet Underground (John Cale dammit, it’s all about John Cale and Sterling Morrison)
3. Extreme metal is satanic puppykiller music. It’s just awesome kick-ass music. And only most of it is satanic.
4. Ambient music and New Age music are two different things. Good ambient and good new age are the same exact thing, ambient musicians are just better at marketing themselves to college students. James Johnson, Steve Roach, Michael Stearns, Robert Scott Thompson, all great musicians you will find in the New Age section. I skipped out on picking up a lot of CDs over the past few years because they looked too ‘new age” even though I’ve always been big into Eno and Kompakt records stuff. I could have gotten CDs by Tuu and O Yuki Conjugate at clearance for like 3 bucks, but I was spooked by cheesy cover art or song titles. Now I’m buying them new for 15 bucks if they are even available at all anymore. DOH!
5. Guitar Hero is fun. If the kids who spent hours on Guitar Hero used that time to learn the actual guitar, they would be able to play all those songs for real, on an actual musical instrument.
Top 5 bands everyone has heard and the people that influenced them that far less people have heard:
1. Bjork– Kate Bush
2. Sigur Ros– Cocteau Twins
3. Radiohead– Aphex Twin, SND, early Autechre
4. Coldplay– the song “Talk” from X&Y was an exact copy of “Computer Love” by Kraftwerk. The whole song. It angers me.
5. Kings of Leon- vocal style influence from the mushmouthed football coach played by Chris Kattan on SNL.
Top 5 metal guitar riffs:
1. Voivod- Brain Scan
2. Megadeth- Wake Up Dead (at 2:38)
3. Immortal- Tyrants
4. Enslaved- Convoys to Nothingness
5. Darkthrone- Transylvanian Hunger
Top 5 guitar players who few people have heard but more should:
1. Steve Tibbetts
2. Ben Monder
3. Davy Graham
4. Keith Fullerton Whitman
5. Steve Hillage
Top 5 great singers that nobody ever talks about when they talk about great singers:
1. Lena Willemark
2. David Sylvian
3. Cyndi Lauper
4. Daryl Hall
5. Pat Suzuki
Top 5 metal singers:
1. Ronnie James Dio
2. Tom G. Warrior
3. Abbath
4. Lee Dorrian
5. Wino
5 records that I surprisingly like considering that I’m such a grumpy bastard:
1. Jonathan Richman- Jonathan Goes Country
2. Survivor- Vital Signs
3. Kylie Minogue- Fever
4. Vashti Bunyan- Just Another Diamond Day
5. Expose- Exposure
5 artists that others would probably consider a guilty pleasure that I like unapologetically:
1. Christopher freaking Cross
2. Toto
3. Stephen Bishop (the guy who wrote the “It might be you” song from “Tootsie”)
4. America
5. Carpenters
5 records I heard for the first time in the past year that I enjoyed:
1. Orb- Orbus Terrarum
2. Robert Rich/Alo Die- Fissures
3. Huong Thanh/Nguyen Le- Fragile Beauty
4. Krallice- s/t
5. Virus- The Black Flux
5 movies/tv shows I saw in the past year that I enjoyed:
1. The Ecstasy of Woodcarver Steiner- A Herzog documentary from the 70s about a Swiss Ski Jumper
2. Sunshine- An awesome and mind bending movie about solar extinction
3. Primer- An awesome and mind bending movie about a couple of guys who accidentally invent a time machine and the worlds most confusing plot
4. The Mighty Boosh- A surreal British comedy about a couple of zoo workers who travel to limbo and the arctic tundra among other places- also an endless well of amusing catchphrases
5. The IT Crowd- a british comedy about “a computer genius, a young go-getter, and a man from Ireland”
5 reasons I like records and CDs better than MP3s and Ipods
1. compressed digital files sound lousy and music is meant to be heard through a stereo, not crappy computer (or Ipod) speakers
2. When everything is free and digital it’s just like flipping through cable, music becomes something that has no value unless it grabs you in the first 5 seconds, just like an advertisement.
You learn to ignore anything that takes some time to develop, and everything becomes 15-second sound bite music. Imagine if that happened with movies or books. “I didn’t like ‘the Godfather”. I watched it for 2 minutes and nothing happened so I turned it off and watched ‘Baby Geniuses 2′ instead.” Do YOU want to be the person who likes ‘Baby Geniuses 2′ more than ‘Godfather’? Didn’t think so.
3. You miss out on any album art and design. Part of the music listening experience is sitting and reading the liner notes and looking at the art while listening to a CD for the first time.
That little square in the corner of your Itunes doesn’t count.
4. Listening to a record, you have to actively put it on, pay attention to it, and flip it when the side is over. Babysitting the record makes you pay attention to it.
It’s a more rewarding music listening experience, you end up noticing details and depth that makes it much more enjoyable and interesting.
On your computer or Ipod you just hit a file on Itunes and let it burble on for hours as wallpaper for your internet surfing or whatever. With records and CD’s you have invested money in a physical piece of music and you learn to invest time in listening to it accordingly, and reap the rewards. With free digital you have invested nothing in it, and you will probably get little out of it. Records teach you to pay attention to music; MP3s teach you to ignore music.
5. Having an awesome MP3 folder never got anyone laid.








Don’t forget to watch and listen for gems. Even though I just said pull the unopened stuff, you just never know, do ya? Luckily, I put on the Eddie Harris/Les McCann Live at Montreaux CD when I was pulling in 1998, or I would have missed one of the greatest jazz CDs on Earth. If you sense a potentially unlistened-to gem, throw it in and listen to it while you pull the rest.
This time it could get even uglier.